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DAY 004/365:
Woke up to a lovely breakfast David’s mom had made. Then we got dressed and went to church. We had to say our good-bye’s there since I had to leave at one for work at two. It was really hard having such a rushed, brief good-bye and many other things had stacked up to make the whole situation unbearable. If I wasn’t leaving in about a week to see him I don’t know what I would have done. After work I went home for the first time in a few days. The first time back in my room after he has left is always hard, there is always something that reminds me of him being there that causes me to break down. One of the major things this time was my bed. As we were leaving my house he asked me to wait a moment as he went back into my room and rolled all around in my bed like a puppy, mussing it all up so I knew that next time I climbed in it he would “be there”. The moment I saw my room again I couldn’t get the image out my head. I went into empty/drifting/quiet/detached/disjointed mode. The pillow his head had been on smelled of him and he left me another wood and cloth scroll under it with a poem he wrote. I curled up under our comforter and fell into an unplanned nap.
